Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Road Rage vs Common Sense

The irritation builds… ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That slow car in front of you, going 10 miles UNDER the speed limit as you scoot as close as you dare BEGGING them to get the hint and speed up…. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That guy that can see you coming a mile down the road, but he sits on the side road with his blinker on for ages until you approach and he picks that moment to dash in front of you…. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The car you are stuck behind as it enters the highway from the on ramp, who doesn’t understand that the highway is 20 miles faster than the road they just left, and you see a looming semi heading your way… ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The driver that doesn’t see the left hand turn light’s arrow come on, and sits there until it turns yellow then lurches out to make the turn although the cars behind it no longer can… ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The long line of cars pretending they can’t see you in a traffic jam as you wait and wait on a side road for that one kind soul to let you in… ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That driver that zips around you on a solid line, even though you are going 4 miles OVER the speed limit and they barely miss your front bumper in their rush to be first in line for no where… ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The car in the parking lot that pretends they can’t see your reverse lights, drives up behind you, and sits there while it waits for the line to move… ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It’s that split second, in an evil world, where that one person lets go of control and does what the best of us only imagine. Hits another car. On purpose. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Today’s term is called Road Rage, brought on by the loss of Common Sense, which in fact is NOT on the drivers exam and allows many unqualified drivers to claim a license. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I know the feeling, I know the WANT to lose control, but don’t ever plan on doing so just because of the risk of injury to the other driver. I myself have made such mistakes as I have listed above, but once realizing it I raise my hand and mouth the words “sorry” to the other driver. I never pretend I don’t know what I did, and I do my best to let them know so that IF they are having a day such as the one listed above, maybe my little apology will slow the rage. Again, if it were not for the lack of common sense, we wouldn’t have road rage. That’s my math.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Fabulously UN Fabulous

At 36 years old, I still try. Yeah, I do. I still try to put on the t-shirts that show cleavage, even though the cleavage is considerable lower or takes a bit of smart gadgetry to put it back where it belongs. I wear the tighter jeans, but don’t DARE try the skinny jeans and wouldn’t even if I was skinny. I do the strange makeup the girls this day and age use (uh oh, I just said ‘day and age’) with extra sparkle and weird shapes and colors. I do my nails to coordinate my outfit when I have time, and even (sometimes) have toes to match. I get a cute haircut, use the flat iron and curler when I have a spare minute. Chunky, colorful jewelry can be fun too! I can be ‘hip’ by using my son’s babysitter as an example. It’s fun! For a day or two. Then the mom jeans come out, the ones that are baggy but comfortable and your kids don’t want to stand next to you. The pair of jeans where your gut can hang out and it looks like a baggy wrinkle in the front. My glossy, straight, dark brown locks become frizzy and a lighter shade of brown with some grey added. Eventually it ends up in a barrette or even a (gasp!) rubber band. Cleavage? Please. Any comfortable bra will do most days. My fun sandals go to flip flops or ballet slippers…as close to house slippers as I can get away with. My nails are still painted, but my 4th of July spirit clings on longer than it should and doesn’t quite match my pink shirt. There is no makeup on my face at all. In fact, I can’t even find my eyeliner pencil and every one of my freckles can be seen. I don’t know yet if that means my wrinkles can be seen as well, only because I don’t look that close. My eyes are usually closed as I brush my teeth. It’s safer that way. Easier to pretend. I am 36. Is that old? I think it all depends on how you feel, what you allow yourself to look like, and how you allow others to MAKE you feel. In my jeans and ponytail, I can chase my kids and squirt them with a hose. My makeup doesn’t run because I don’t have any on. My dye job and beautiful glossy hair doesn’t ruin or turn green at the pool when I play ‘boat’ for my little ones. My haircut isn’t fancy, but as long as it stays out of my eyes when I play hide and seek, then it works for me. Nails? Well, they ARE painted, but they don’t match my outfits for sure and I can pretend the chipping isn't noticeable at all. I am Absolutely, Outrageously, Undecidedly, Fabulously UN fabulous.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Reality Bites...your Wallet

Wow, it happened again, another special "16 and Pregnant". Why do we keep doing this to the public? Money talks, especially to teens who think it runs the world and the more you have the more important you are. Well, if the kid is working, then good for them on the few dollars they make a week. I would say it's about $300 a pay period, and for a teen that has to rely on their parents, saying "three hundred" probably puts them in shock. I am sure they feel like millionaires. So take them, and that little paycheck to the grocery store of their choice. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This is where class begins.... You think you are pregnant, so buy the test to find out: 6.00 for the cheap one, but they REALLY need to know the TRUTH so they buy quality for $18.00. Awwww, it comes out positive! Hooray, parents. Right. So to announce this to your boyfriend you buy a cute pair of baby socks, in hopes he doesn't just slam the car door in your face. That would be maybe $3.00 for a wish upon a star and some sprinkling of good vibes. Good luck with all that. If the boy has good parents then he will be made to pay some money sometime if he has a job, but don't count on it. (I have four sons, so don't think I am just being mean. That's how it is right now.) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now, more than likely you are on your parents insurance, so the birth will be 'free' (by insurance and by them-not by you, which means 'free' to you) OR you can always join the system and take free healthcare. Or, rather, your mom will be in the welfare office with you filling out the forms you can't be bothered with and handing you such things like a Social Security Card that you never realized you had before this point. Also Free. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ About the crib? If you harassed your parents, and you are one of the spoiled kind, you got the catalog crib you were lusting after. If you live in reality, you went down to the Salvation Army and got that dark brown wooden one with the bite marks and cleaned it up real good. Another $50.00. Oops, it doesn't come with a mattress! Imagine that. Another 100.00 for a CLEAN one brand new. Did you think it would fill itself with blankets and sheets? $5.00 per sheet (non designer) and $30.00 for a crib set (no fancy cartoons here). Unlike YOUR bed, these get soiled and cleaned almost daily, so you will need at least three sheets. $15.00 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oops, your baby still doesn't have diapers or clothes or food. Better get on that. A normal teen this day and age doesn't breast feed. Sorry, but they just became sexual objects a few months ago, no way they are going to be used to feed a baby. So, formula it is. 3 oz every two hours for two weeks is $88.00 bucks. That's the generic kind. I hope your baby doesn't have an allergy and require the costly kind, or that baby has gas issues and need to change the type of formula that generics don't make. That would be 144.00 just for the non gassy kind. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Diapers are 96 diapers for 14 bucks. Not bad? This box is used up in 8 days, so buy two for the two week mark (until another payday). $24.00. Oh, don't forget the wipes! $10 but you also have to buy two boxes since you use them TWICE as much as the diapers. (unless you plan to use just one wipe per poop) That would be $20.00 for two weeks. These are store brand also. If you want to be all special and buy the brand names, put another $10.00 on the cost just for the label. If baby has sensitive skin, be prepared to pay this extra cost. Okay, so the baby is fed and diapered, and has a place to sleep. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Clothes. Hopefully all your friends were reeeeaaaalllyyy supportive of your 'surprise' pregnancy and threw you this magnificent baby shower. Or reality hits and a few friends actually took time out of their busy teen day to buy a cute outfit or two while eating some cupcakes your mom laid out beside the bowl of chips. So more than likely YOU have to buy the clothes. I would recommend the Salvation Army yet again, if you want to keep the kid warm. Cute? You don't have the cash for cute. So estimating about 4 outfits a day, that would be $40.00 at Walmart or $10.00 at SA. Yes sweetie, you really will NEED four a day, and not just to play dress up. Baby puke, poop and pee is a daily even hourly thing. We will assume you will NOT be washing clothes daily so you can use these over and over and decide that you will need at least one week of clothing. $280 at Walmart or $70 at SA. (Hey, you can find some good deals there) Hopefully you take some time out to wash some baby clothes once a week, maybe the same day you find time to take that shower. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So, what does that leave you with? In the negative. And that is with your parents paying for YOUR needs like soap and toilet paper. It also doesn't cover your maternity clothes when you can't make your jeans fit. It doesn't cover the shots your baby will need to stay healthy. It doesn't cover RENT for you and your child since more than likely you will be in mommy and daddy's care still. When you are up crying right along side that baby because you are so tired and frustrated, the cuteness no longer just an image in your head about how 'Fun' having a baby will be, please think about giving a REALITY BITES class to your friends. That way they will see the REAL of it and keep their bodies to themselves and their money in their pocket. You lost that chance. Reality just bit you in the butt, as well as your wallet.