I was pretty frustrated this morning, someone had slammed a door when they couldn't find what they needed. Not a good way to wake up for sure, so I stomped out of my room to handle the situation. In the middle of yelling about the door, I closed my mouth and asked "what is the problem". I was able to figure it out and help a frustrating situation calm down rather than escalate. We found the missing item borrowed by dad. I stood there, thinking of what a good friend of mine said..."If you curse at your children, you curse ON your children, and they will have learned to do the same to THEIR children. Take the curse off starting with you." She was right. Taking those words out of my vocabulary took the power out of my emotions, and we were able to work through the mess a lot faster and the boys were able to leave for school in a positive mood. This mood helps them learn, helps them be there for their friends, and give respect for the teacher. I took the 'curse' off them this morning. Maybe not tomorrow, but it's a one day at a time kind of thing.
My oldest leaves toward his own chosen career in a little over a year and a half. My second follows soon behind, right into the Air Force at 17 years old. Both determined, both looking forward, both knowing that first step is going to hurt. I always wonder if I have given them the tools they need, if they have confidence in their abilities, if they have trust in God, and if they know we are still here for them...to where they can take the steps they want with out falling. I am excited, proud, and afraid for them... and hope I have given them what they need to succeed. So until the day they walk out my door, I will be making changes in myself that I know will help them in their future. I might not have a fancy career myself, but God made me a mother of some darn wonderful kids, and that's a good enough job for me.
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