Friday, March 22, 2013

Teen Mom

Hey 15 year old, remember this time last year that your mom was yelling at you to wake up and get ready before you missed the bus?
Remember her making your breakfast while you were snotty acting and taking too much time to do your makeup? 
 Remember her telling you to do your best and that she knew you would have a great life if you applied yourself? 
All you could do was grumble about how school shouldn't start so early and how she pissed you off by waking you up before the sun. 
Well, how does it feel now to be where you are? Waking up every two hours because YOUR child is crying? 
 Being forced to watch your friends board the bus that not long ago you didn't want to ride, while you are standing at the window with your baby?
 And you look down at her, your way out of going to school, and you realize how much harder this cop out is. 
 And although you would never label her a mistake, you still know in your heart that you certainly made the wrong decision.
 And you whisper in her ear, where your own mother can't hear lest she be right, "You are going to BE something some day..."

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Enjoy Spanking?

Just to be clear, right from the start, I AM an advocate for spanking a child.  Now, you already have your hackles up I am sure, so go ahead and be mad if you want and stop reading.  I got a few very well deserved whacks when I was a kid and THANK GOODNESS for that!  I can tell you, I was a wild and mouthy child, and had I not gotten put in my place when I stepped over bounds, I could very well be an evil woman right now.  We all have it in us, and each one of us needs to be lead in a way that keeps us on the straight and narrow.  I was the "she needs a spanking" type, and my older sis was a "she needs a talking to" type.  Our parents knew it, and they did their job right.  I am that kind of parent.  The rule in our house? 

"If you intentionally put yourself or someone else in danger, you deserve a spanking."  I can't think of any other instance where it is really needed in our home. 

Oh, there are plenty other times I WANT to give them out, trust me.  But I always have that 'stop and think' moment. 
1) Am I striking out because they made me angry?
2) Am I controlling my anger or allowing them to control it?
3) Does hitting them make me feel better or make them listen?
4) Is there compliance with this punishment or is there a better/calmer way to handle it?
5) If hitting because they made me angry is okay, why can't we do this to strangers?  (If you responded 'because my kids are mine', well, they aren't property)
6) Are they staring at you open mouthed, wide eyed, and with their hands up to protect themselves?  THEN SPANKING IS NOT OKAY.

If you have gone through the first three, more than likely you have calmed down and told them to get out of your sight.  They stomped up the stairs to their room and slammed their door.  In actuality they are relieved and wait for you to come up and talk while handing out a reasonable punishment they will be thankful to receive rather than what was coming. 

I had a nurse tell me that 'more discipline' for my autistic son (before diagnoses) would help greatly, and she made a swing motion with her hand.  Although I agree that a firmer hand is needed for him, he really doesn't care if you hit him.  Pain ends in minutes.  He will continue with what he was doing before he was hit, because he was not given a reason NOT to. 

So parents, you know your kids, you know your self.  You know if you are feeling a bit guilty reading this then you are one that needs to lengthen your fuse and find other ways to manage. 

As for that lady in the Walmart parking lot who hit her kid for falling behind on the walk to the door?  You should have taken his hand and walked with him in the beginning, rather than grab his hand to hold him still so you could hit him, then let go and expect him to keep up again.  You, ma'am, are an ass and obviously enjoy spanking.