'Pretending' to Help? Yeah

All other posts I have been to offer the form 1172-2 to be signed by the soldier and turned in later by a dependent for their ID card renewal. I was not 'allowed' to have the form and was told the only option I had was for my DS husband to stand with me in line. A sign posted in their office clearly states that I can have the form and turn it in signed later. My husband was able to show up later (without me) and talked with the manager who argued military regulations back and forth. In the end my husband just plain asked for the form again to bring to me with his signature. The manager told him he could have the 1172-2 if he went to the back of the line. (even though he was already at the desk with the manager) Also, there is enough staff where the desk does not have to close for lunch. It would not be so busy if they staggered the lunches and continued to work through the day like other successful businesses. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Reply: Thank you for taking the time to complete our survey and we’re sorry that you were not satisfied with you recent visit to the ID Card Facility. In accordance with AR 600-8-14, IDENTIFICATION CARDS FOR MEMBERS OF THE UNIFORMED SERVICES, THEIR ELIGIBLE FAMILY MEMBERS, AND OTHER ELIGIBLE PERSONNEL, dated 17 June 2009. We have a responsibility to protect Personally Identifiable Information (PII) which means the only person that can authorized any ID Technician to access their record in DEERS is the sponsor him or herself. Dependents do not have the authority to access a sponsor’s record in DEERS without a Power of Attorney or a “SIGNED” DD Form 1172-2 by the sponsor. That means the sponsor is the only one that can request this form from our office. In reference to the sign posted outside the ID Card Facility this is exactly what the sign states verbatim: DEPENDENT ID CARDS: If sponsor isn’t present, then must have signed 1172 by the sponsor or Power of Attorney. Nowhere on the sign does it state that a dependent can be issued the form to take to the sponsor. The DD Form 1172-2 must be signed in the presence of a Verifying Official (ID Tech in this office) or the sponsor’s signature must be notarized by a notary. Your sponsor may have been sitting at the manager’s desk, however, the managers desk is not an ID card producing workstation so there is no way that the manager could have printed the form for your sponsor and all the time that your sponsor spent at the manager’s desk could have been used to sign in like all other customers and received customer service. Your husband could have made an appointment at https://rapids-appointments.dmdc.osd.mil/ to receive your ID and saved valuable time. This could have prevented both of you from making three trips to the ID Card Facility. Your sponsor could have also visited his Battalion or Brigade S1 for advice and correct procedure on obtaining an ID card. The ID Card Facility is closed during lunch to allow the printers to cool down, thus preventing delays caused by overheating and errors while processing cards. Lastly we have no control here at FLW on how other ID Card Facilities conduct their business. I can assure you that we follow all rules and regulations. V/R ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Response: The form I asked them for I went home and printed out myself. My soldier signed it and got it notarized on his time, then gave it back to me. They could have HANDED ME A BLANK FORM which they refused to do. 'How can we help' is how you fix ruffled feathers. "Here ma'am, bring this form 1172-2 to your husband to sign when he has a chance and just bring it back to us and we will get you that ID." I asked specifically HOW I could get it done without him standing there holding my hand. They answered with, "There is no other way, he has to be in line waiting with you". A blank form should be able to be issued. I hope that cleared up some confusion on what happened. I will fill the ICE complaint form out in detail next time. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Reply from V/R: Thanks for your feedback. Yes, it is your choice to get a blank form, complete it, and then go get it notarized. However why do that when DEERS will complete the form for you? The time that was spent filling out the form and going to JAG, we could have issued your ID Card. It's you choice, however more easier procedures are in place to assist customers. I don't think that any of my employees were trying to inconvenience you, they probably just found it unusual that you would want to go through those procedures. Lesson learned, we will review procedures and move forward. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Me Again: (shaking my head at the many contradictions so far) You just said that I can not have them print out the form with all the info on it because I was not the soldier? Hmmm. It only gets printed out for the soldier, not the dependent. Since I, as the dependent, was the only one there at the time, it was a solution that would have worked. Point being, as a Drill Sgt in Red Phase, he can't leave. (very rarely) I had to do this, and I was met with problems not solutions. I found a solution ON MY OWN and will continue to do so as long as the support is not there. I appreciate you trying to help and responding to the complaint. Thank you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ His reply: (which was a good cop out) You're very welcome! V/R ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ End point: You can ONLY get an ID card on FLW by making your soldier go in because they will NOT print the prefilled application out for you. So if you have to do this on your own, print out the blank form at home, fill it out yourself, have the hubby sign it, notarize it at ANY bank, and bring it in. Otherwise your hubby has to take even LONGER by going into JAG, getting a Power of Attorney for you, and THEN you can do the whole process without him. With a spouse that can NOT break away but for a few moments, the notarized 1172-2 form is faster. More of a pain for YOU, but faster for HIM so he can get back to work. The DEERS office does not care about HIS time and what he is involved in, but you do, so do your best to make things easier for your spouse since they won't.

The TRUTH About Being a QUITTER

As of April 1st, in an attempt to stop being a fool, I decided just like that to quit smoking. Cold turkey. Let me clarify that cold turkey was not a CHOICE I made either…it was my only option. I happen to be allergic to meds in the same group as the ones that will help me cope on quitting…so no help there. Just a wing and a prayer. I would like to share that I kept that emergency cigarette on the back porch through rain and shine until I completely forgot about it. I guess I would compare it to a pacifier or a child’s favorite blanket. I needed to know it was there ‘just in case’. I will say, after that first 7 days of struggle, and it WAS a struggle, I kept thinking of excuses on why I should give up, or how one puff would not hurt. Then I would go back and beat myself up saying “YOU WENT THROUGH HELL FOR 7 DAYS, WHY START OVER!?” and that would stop me for another day. Sit down, and lets have a convo about how this QUITTING really is. It sucks, in every way possible, it sucks. The first week was me scrambling around my house thinking of NOTHING but NOT smoking and cleaning everything I could get my hands on. When I wasn’t cleaning or when cleaning just wasn’t enough to stop the pull deep in my soul, I would get out of control furious. It was like a fire ball in my chest that got bigger and bigger until I was screaming and banging things. I was running one day and running was not lessening the anger, so I ran harder and faster, but still no change. My anger kept growing faster than I could run it out so I grabbed the bars on the treadmill and lifted that sucker into the air and slammed it on the ground WITH ME ON IT. Twice. The uncontrolled anger won that time and many other times. I had just enough sense to stay away from my kids and pets, thank you very much. They all knew the deal too but they wanted this MORE than I did. So there was about 3 weeks of this bad mood, of which I was aware it was only spurts but everyone now tells me was constant. Well, it finally goes down to where I can manage it, still being snippy at times and less able to be patient around stupidity. A couple days of ‘normal’, and I start sinking. It really feels that way. You just wake up one day and look in the mirror. Before, you were in a rush to handle your business so you had time for a smoke, but after…no reason to rush. Plenty of time to stare at everything ‘wrong’ about you. The world gets pretty heavy, slow, saggy…I can’t even describe it really. Physically, that’s what it felt like. Mentally I was not wanting to think about the next day, what bills needed paid, and I rarely paid attention to who had what homework and if the chores were done. I just didn’t care. I could see them playing, or arguing, or needing attention, but unless someone was hurt I was not blinking an eye. Honestly, all I wanted to do was sleep and be left alone. NOT GOOD FOR A BUSY MOM!!! NOT GOOD! I cried all the time for nothing, and I never bothered to talk to my husband. He should have been my support, but I just didn’t want to be bothered with being told to “feel better”. I know NOW he wouldn’t have done that, but in the shadows that I was in, I thought he would just be another person patting my on the back. I could not even tell him what I needed, which would confuse him and make him feel inadequate when he was already taking over all the things I was supposed to be doing at home. Seeing someone else do my job didn’t pull me out of my funk, it made me feel that I wasn’t needed, that life could go on without me. I was in a pretty sorry state. I tried to talk about it and I got a lot of support that I myself would give if I was reading it from someone else. (mostly anyway) I wanted it to work, I wanted to believe what they said, I wanted to feel better, and I wanted to be able to say ‘thank you’ for them being there. Instead, I shut off the computer. I shut everyone out, then I got my focus. I slowly pulled myself out of a hole, little by little, day by day. I kept the focus on me, with no distractions, and kept telling myself to keep going. I had NO IDEA all of this was from quitting smoking. All I wanted was for it to end, to be able to do the things I was doing before. This is NOT something that was explained to me as a side effect of quitting, so I am seriously putting that out there for you. Not kidding. It sucked worse than the anger. I was prepared for the anger. Granted, not to the extent it went at times, but I knew it was from quitting and it would pass. I coped. The depression, that was never expected and very difficult for me to deal with. After that cloud moved on (about 3 more weeks of it!) I was all silly happy again! I SHOULDN’T be with all the WEIGHT I gained, but I do indeed feel better. I might have gained the 30 it took a year to lose, but my happy is back. We all know that weight gain is a side effect of quitting, so I am prepared for that as well. I know it will happen, I have clothes for that purpose, and I have to work harder to fix the problem. I laugh about it, I poke fun at myself and my ‘chubby pants’, and I take my rear to the pool EVERY DAY to swim for two hours. That is a win/win situation for me and the kids. Our moods are better, we get plenty of sun and time together, and I am still NOT SMOKING! So, that’s the truth. Don’t just read a pamphlet about quitting, talk to real people and ask for the serious low down about it all. PLEASE don’t continue smoking out of fear, just use the knowledge to go into this prepared. And being prepared is what helped me with two out of three difficult steps. Good luck!

Pride vs Arrogance

I am a ‘big girl’. Past blogs have shown how I feel about that so let me move on… Being a big girl means that it’s just a tad harder for me to ‘like’ what I see and dress up a body that I am not particularly fond of most of the time. There are days that feeling pretty actually happens. I have a sense of pride on how my hair turned out that day or the fact that my makeup brings my eyes out more than usual. I like that the polish I chose for my fingers and toes brings out my tan more or that for ONCE I have blemish free skin! Those are prideful moments. How I feel when I get in my car, turn on my favorite song and sing in a voice I don’t recognize as my own scratchy out of tune one. I can smile as I dance to the beat of my stereo and realize that my normally shy self is dancing crazy with people staring at me and I don’t care. That’s pride in myself and my appearance. I am caring about me, what I think, how I feel and what I look like just for myself and not for others. I will never fit the mold that society says I should be in. I will never be the exact shape and size that I draw for myself in the mirror. I will keep trying to be my ‘best’ whatever my best is. And I am sure I will have down days when love for myself is not there. I live for those days of pride, for being comfortable with the little things that I DO like about myself. I have seen people take it too far. Blasting their stereo so that the windows vibrate. Wearing so much jewelry that their fingers clink together and they rattle when they walk. Bringing out the color in their eyes with makeup painted on. Clothing too tight to breath, and rolls of skin hanging out of every available crease. That is not pride. That is arrogance. They believe so highly of themselves that they MUST share it with the world. We don’t get a choice in experiencing this with them. Arrogance is forcing us to experience it with you, and our opinions could very well differ. Having Pride in yourself is exactly that, pride in YOURSELF. It is for you to experience. And more than likely, that subtle love rubs off onto others.