We have been shown that if we talk disrespectfully about someone or something with our child present, then they believe what you say and think and will use it themselves. Their thoughts and actions will reflect on what you showed them.
If you talk badly about another race, your child will believe badly about that race and may not hold their tongue about your opinions. This will prevent friendships that could have helped them grow. Your thoughts and opinions prevented opportunities in life that your child will truly regret.
If you talk disrespectfully about your ex spouse, and the child is there listening to such talk about the other parent, they will think and believe the same. They will act out what you have shared in their behavior when they are with the other parent. They may even say some of the same things you have said against their parent and creating turmoil where there shouldn't have been.
If you post on FaceBook with very strong opinions against the president, welfare, a business, or even a coworker and your child is on your friends list, you can be sure that they are reading your thoughts. They might not have cared a moment before the post, but your strong opinions for or against caught their attention. No need for them to do research and decide for themselves what they believe. They now share your opinion.
My question is how do we teach our children to share their views and opinions respectfully? First, we have to give them the space to have their own opinion. When they come to us with brows down and a sharp tongue, we need to listen about why they are so angry. Then we must require they think about it and find the other side of the coin. We may want them to lean our way, to believe as we believe, but that isn't fair or right.
We must also watch not just what they say, but what they write as well. We have to pay attention to the sites they are on and what information they are spreading. We must remind them that it is best not to comment on a post where it could be one sided and someone's feelings could be hurt.
Most of all, we have to watch what WE say, we have to watch how WE act and we must watch what WE post on networking sites while our children are learning and growing. SHOW them how to be respectful out in the world with their thoughts, voices, actions and written word.
It is your job to teach respectful opinions from your children.
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