Who is REALLY "In Charge" of the Family?

Philippians 2:3-7 If you want to read it, then you have to look it up. If you are not interested, just move on. This verse is the basis for our family, which includes the military lifestyle and how we manage to keep the ship sailing when he isn't at home. My husband and I run our family 'the old fashioned way', where HE is the head of the family. Now, what does this mean exactly? Does this mean he makes the rules that we follow? Are we allowed to have our opinion? Can his own wants and needs override our own? What does being 'In Charge' mean for us? Our home has a ship captain, and a second in charge and some ship mates of course. If the captain is out or otherwise busy, the second in charge is MORE THAN capable of making decisions and getting things done. I happen to be second in charge who is put in the position of Captain quite a bit. The military has a big say in this. It is not at all strange to be in the home and feel the actual power change when he comes in the door. Not just for my children, but for neighborhood friends who have joined the kids. He is less tolerant of misbehavior, he demands respect, he expects rules to be followed to the tee for his own kids as well as others that have joined him. Now, the second in command KNOWS the rules, but if the Captain isn't in, the second in command can change a few to fit the situation. Captain sets the base standard, Second works with that but does more compromising to meet the needs of the ship mates. Do we tell the Captain? Maybe later. I don't want anyone to have the misconception that because I am the woman, I must bow to him. That is certainly not the case. Who reports damage? Who settles the little disputes? Who keeps the records and informs of problems? The Second. Could the Captain get along without a Second in command? No. He has me to stand behind him to whisper "uh, not a good choice of words..." or "maybe you should listen to this..." or "how about we think about this a different way". That's my job. I would say I am pretty good at it too. Would I want the job of Captain? No. I feel quite secure and happy knowing he is taking care of us. What would happen if there were TWO Captains on the ship and no second in command? Complete Chaos! Two adults fighting for the head, wanting to be the ultimate decision maker, refusing to bow to the other, and letting the ship mates watch it all and learn how to be bull headed and uncompromising. I had the job of Captain, and all the while I wished for someone to take the job from me and let me be the Second. I honestly think women are MUCH better at this job, we have a different thought process, we have different emotional stability that allows us to go from the Captain and Ship mates while understanding both points of view. Mentally, we fill this role better. I have to teach my sons to be leaders, to be the head of the household, and who better to teach them then a second in command. They hear me, they learn to listen to someone elses opinions before jumping ahead. They learn to treat a woman as someone special, the key to their success in a family dynamic, and love her for helping with the details he doesn't have the ability to handle. Is it possible for me to be wrong...Will others argue and defend their position?...Of course!!!! That's why this is Just My Opinion.