A female friend posted this picture on her wall, and I made a silly comment "Can we get a cute poem for our thighs?" just to be silly. Well, a Mr. Wheat then commented his opinion, and since this is actually Just Opinions, I thought I would share his comments:
"This is not a picture for males to appreciate." I replied that some men do, but in longer context. This is his explanation about his own wife and post baby body. And do keep an open mind!
"I told her to get herself to work. These are things we can control and manipulate with diet and workout routines. No reason not to get right back into shape. She of course had extra lbs on her after giving birth, that's a normal part of the process. Nobody's body will go without SOME permanent thing such as some stretch marks but I know plenty in person who look the same or even better by 6-8 months post delivery by just working hard for it. Looks absolutely matter, I'd not try to pretend that a sexual attraction isn't the start of most every single romantic relationship, that'd be silly. Nobody is perfect but I don't feel it's any reason not to make the best of what we are born with and what we suffer in life through experiences like childbirth. It will fade as you said, so I'll celebrate the moment and extend it as possible with some gym time dedication and the only result would be a healthier body."
We were appalled, and yes, offended! And we told him so, so he explained himself...
"Working out, yes get to work. Not everyone is blessed with sports illustrated bodies, 98% of people just have to work their butts off to accomplish goals. I see nothing wrong with hard work to get in shape."
And yes, I agree with this point, but not for someone ELSE to tell their loved one such. Not unless they plan to do the work along with making such comments. Its work to carry the kid for almost a year, it's work to birth HIS baby, why the heck should we jump back in the gym just because he thinks we should? He wasn't happy with me and my 'big mouth' when I stated not all men think or feel such a way.
"I cut no slack to those who fail to help themselves, most certainly not my wife. I don't think you can speak for what the entire world would have done. Furthermore, if you DON'T know someone maybe you should bite your tongue before making personal attacks on them. Thanks."
No, I don't know him. I only commented and read. I think that's all I need to do. But, just so I was giving him a fair shot at what he did and did not truly believe, I checked out HIS page. This is what I found on Mr. Wheat's page:
"OK, I've seen the same things posted by women about body image over and over. So let me clarify for you ladies. THIS IS WHAT A WOMAN SHOULD LOOK LIKE IN A PERFECT WORLD."
In a Perfect World, imagine all the changes we would have to make on both male and female. Get started Mr. Wheat, let me know how close YOU get to perfection before your time is up.
From Jody Dawn Phelps via Facebook:
ReplyDeleteI think we as women are a million times more hard in our selves then our men are. I do it and my man gets mad at me for it. Yay for good men who know REAL women! I ♥ your blog Jenny
From Kathy Middleton Page via Facebook:
ReplyDeleteif that's what a perfect body is supposed to look like, then I come from a very imperfect family, and love each and every one of them imperfections with all my heart!!
ONLY ABOUT 1% (not even that) of women look or will EVER look like his example of perfection. And this "perfection" definitely included the use of a plastic surgeon. Those are NOT her real breasts. No way. Mr. Wheat is my cousin, but I doubt even he would live up to the ladies of the world "perfect man" either. Besides, "perfection" or the illusion of it is all a matter of personal taste...thank goodness. What one man finds beautiful, another may find hideous. There is examples of this just by traveling to different countries. Standards of "beauty" is so variant wherever you go! I think striving to be as healthy, fit, and happy as you can be is a great thing though. I certainly don't advocate sitting in front of the television all day and eating boxes of donuts until you weigh 300-400 lbs! But striving to be the best we can, will not always fit into this pigeon holed, air-brushed, photo shopped version of a woman either. It is silly to think that can or EVER will be achieved, and unfortunately it's what causes severe and fatal eating disorders in many of our young girls (and even boys now) Loving your body and taking care of it the best you can is what we should be doing. We are only given ONE body...we should try to treat it with respect and treat it well. I'm sure my cousin has had a his fare share of junk food in his life. We ALL have. Accountability and moderation is KEY though. Also, trying not to criticize and put down those who do not fit into this model of perfection. LOVING one another, ENCOURAGING one another, and accepting someone you love for who they are. I have struggled MY whole life with my weight and suffered many ups and downs. My all time high weight was 323 lbs. and I am now at about 160 lbs. Is it perfect? NO, it's not. Could I get up and exercise even more and cut even more calories? Yes...I probably could. But I love myself and will always continue to strive to be better and be proud of my accomplishments. I will NOT continue to stare in the mirror and HATE who I am. I have had enough of that in my life. Sure, I'm not perfect. But in reality...NO ONE IS. The world can pick ANYONE apart and find something wrong with them no matter HOW hard they try to be perfect. There will ALWAYS be people who criticize. That's the way the world is. I know my cousin Mr. Wheat is a good man and loves his wife dearly. I also know that Jennifer is a wonderful and amazing wife and mother who is always herself striving to better herself! Just MY thoughts...so be it. :) Love you all.
ReplyDeleteWell said dear, well said!!! :)
ReplyDeleteShared by Lynn Daley via Facebook
ReplyDeleteHe didn't marry someone to watch them quit. Quitting is what a lot of people seem to do. Especially, when tired, or "I'm married now, so I don't need to be my best". He could have put better thought into what he was saying. And if that pic is truly his idea of perfect instead of perfect being the woman strong enough to be with him and bear his child, he needs to have another think session. Because he got married for superficial reasons. Whether we like it or not, we get old and so does the person with us. To quit is not an option. Strive to be able to meet the growing challenges that will come and alter your life. Sitting around eating and whining and not trying to reach your latest best you is not striving. It isn't fair to date a beautiful go getter with an ambition for all of life (male or female).Then w/in a year of marriage you learn that it was a rouse to get you to take care of them. Instead of sharing the heavy burden and double the fun, it is you taking it all on. Oddly, both in the relationship feel they are the ones making all the effort and the other isn't. He needs to rewire his thinking just a tad and we need to do the same. Life is growing and ever changing. I will never get back into my favorite jordache jeans ever. Not because I got too fat for them, not because they are the wrong style, but because I grew and changed. That is life. I grew and changed after each pregnancy. The grow and change now is to get into my size 12 or 14 and to be able to climb with my kids. And I need stong muscles but not rock hard or absolutley no jiggle, in order to enjoy the husband and me moments. Struggling with job, medical (yours and your family members), whether to focus on new car or old house assist with putting things on a back burner. But like dress your best for church or a job interview or a family photo, your spouse needs to know you are still trying to give your best to them too. To think you or your spouse will always look like you did on your long ago wedding day is not moving forward. I will go and thank my husband for having the strength to deal with not only himself but me too.
Hilarious... not sure if the adds change at the bottom of the posts each time you go in, but as I am typing I see an add for the Alaska club... it says "25.00 Enrollment" "Month to Month Memberships Available" "The way Fitness Should Be..." LOL...
ReplyDeleteOkay, onto my thoughts. I know alot of people think that way (both yours and his), I also know that there are supermodels and actresses that can get back into shape in 6 to 8 weeks... they also have nannies personnel trainers, chefs and doctors on call to make sure they can exercise 12 hours a day and still produce breast milk... I know when I had mine I was SO tired from being up every 2 hours (with no nannie) It was hard to get out of the recliner to get the baby much less hit the treadmill... I made my own dinner (and because I was tired and my chef wasn't around) sometimes that meant cereal...
I DID get back down to my pre-pregnancy weight after Liam, it took me 2 weeks shy of a year, working full time and taking care of 3 kids (with just my hubby- so we were the personal trainers, chefs and nanny for each other!) I DID NOT get back to my pre-pregnancy body... my hips changed, the shape of my stomach changed, I gained weight (and have not lost it) from my arms ~ even though the scale says the same pre-Liam, the weight is being carried differently... BUT, I am still HIS MILF lol
It is hurtful to hear someone say something to you like that, especially your husband, I am just hoping that he was just trying to get his point across to you (which actually IS a good point) but that he did not actually put it to his wife that way... It is actually a good point, the "eating for two" that alot of women do is not the greatest, and tyou cannot go the next 18 years saying "it's baby weight" because he is right, to stay in a marriage, besides friendship and memories and future plans you do have to be attractive to each other and I do not mean supermodel or looking as young as the day you met, but you do have to keep catching each other's eye, you have to put some thought and work into it just as you would want your spouse to do. You want to be HIS arm candy ~ even if the guy across the room doesn't think you are, your husband should! :) Just as he should for you. Good points, I am hoping he just came across wrong or forceful to you ladies of which he doesn't know, but he lovingly stood behind/ beside his wife helping her to get her body back... in a perfect world
and that pic he posted ... TOTALLY looks like me... (when I crop her face out and post mine to her oiled up body!) lol
ReplyDeleteLOL!!! Thanks for adding the humor!
ReplyDelete