Sometimes 'Surprise!" Works to Your Advantage, USE IT!

Just how much pre planning do our kids do before making a wrong decision? It's one of those choices that you know they thought about, and decided to do the wrong thing anyway. I assumed that if I put the consequences out there, they would thing TWICE about what they were about to do. They think twice alright, enough to decide the consequences are worth the trouble. With a shrug of the shoulders, they act unaffected when you dish out the punishment. When my boys take the punishment calmly and go about their business without arguing, I know they had it all planned. :) I am one of those moms where I want everything fair. I used to sit down with them and have a talk about their actions and what they should have done, since they were really small. When they made bad choices I calmly reminded them of what we discussed and what the normal consequences for that action was. They ALWAYS knew why they were being punished and what that punishment would be. You see, I thought that was 'fair'. Now, I am not saying this didn't work. It did for several years. Then, ta-dah!- teen years struck. Now they have it all worked out in their heads. First, they decide if 'X' is what they want to do...then they think about how not to get caught doing 'X', then they think about if they do get caught are the consequences WORTH doing 'X'. Well, Mama needed a new way of doing things.... So I decided since they had so much pre planning, then I needed to up the odds in my favor somehow. The only trick I had up my sleeve was in the area of 'SURPRISE!' giving consequences. Now, they no longer get the preknowledge of knowing the consequences BEFORE they think about doing 'X'. It might not always stop it from happening, but I can guarantee it stops it from happening the second time. And I am sure if I had access to their brains, the list of 'X' is a little shorter just because they are not sure of what Mama is going to do to them when they get caught. Notice I didn't say IF, I said WHEN people. If you have more than one kid, or your kid has friends you see often, someone always snitches. There you have it. SURPRISE!!!! :)