Bulge Battle

This past weekend I found out the battle of the bulge was actually a real battle, and not one pertaining to fat cells. That was just a side note, a bit of curiosity, maybe even something you can laugh at me for being so ignorant about. For me though, the Battle of the Bulge is daily, and it is a real battle too. My weapons have been my treadmill, walking the dog, frozen dinners the size of the palm of my hand, magic pills, and even a body wrap!! My enemies have been boredom, quitting smoking, stress of being a mother and wife, and of course junk food showing up in my house then into my mouth. It is a battle, and it is one that we have reached a stalemate on. I would not say I am losing, or the bulge is winning…not yet. I am sure someone walking down the street would have no problem making the judgment of loss but they don’t know where the war began as well as I do. But let me tell you about this secret weapon someone talked me into. I am not going to give the name of it so you don’t get suckered like I did, and so I don’t hurt the seller’s feelings. I am sure you guessed with that statement that the product was a nice idea but big FAIL. (It think the clue in for me should have been the lack of before and after pictures, but I just assumed she was just getting the site up and running as a new distributor and didn’t have more than the one picture-duh) So my dummy butt, desperate for help in that Middle Area, gets talked into calling her for more info. She even went as far as telling me it could help with quitting smoking, which was a selling point for me. Supposedly you put this wrap around your middle and leave it there for 45 min to 8 hours, as long as you can stand it. When you take it off, your middle has lost several inches and the stretch marks have become less visible. Well folks, I bought into the scam. I wanted that miracle that could do several things all at once! So I excitedly followed the directions on applying the wrap, taking measurements, grabbed my water, and sat around waiting for the miracle to happen. I lasted three hours, all the while drinking cup after cup of ice water and running to the bathroom every five minutes. I was smiling like ‘hooray, all these bathroom trips mean that I am getting rid of all the toxins!!!” (insert goofy grin and bouncing for joy here) Three hours later I excitedly took the wrap off, washed off all the chemicals, and took out the tape measure again. A GAIN OF ONE INCH!! What!? In a panic, I jump on the scale. A GAIN OF THREE POUNDS! I read all the instructions again, thinking maybe I flipped the wrap backwards so it worked backwards. Oh! A clause! Hooray! It said something like the toxins are causing your cells to swell and the inches WILL go down the more water you drink. Ugh, so that must be it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Three days later, tons of water, it was finally time to see the results. My 72 hours of tox clean was up and what ever the results were today should be great. Hooray! I lost an inch!!! Hmmmm, but wait...I also lost 3 lbs.... Think about it Jen. You lost the inch and the pounds that you GAINED in just three hours of using the magic wrap. It took you THREE DAYS to get your body back to what it was just seconds BEFORE putting a wrap on your belly!!! So in the long run, you lost NOTHING. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now I have a box of miracle wraps sitting under my sink. My hubby asked that I just assume that's how all first tries go, and try again like they recommend after 72 hours. I did, same result. I am STUCK with this crap. I have deleted the seller of the product off my page, I have deleted the product's company off my page. I have once again been suckered into the quick fixes all because of a desperate need to stand on the scale and in front of the mirror and LIKE what I see. Maybe it's not a new body I need. Maybe it's new eyeballs... Either way, I am still fighting the Bulge Battle on my own the good old fashioned way, exercise and eating right.