Valid Thoughts-Bad Timing

I have seen and been a part of several discussions that have turned into arguments, and it takes all I have as a natural mediator to calm both sides down. It’s not that I agree with one or the other, or even disagree for that matter, it’s just a matter of timing. Bad timing is when a discussion about the rights of fathers comes up when the person you are talking around /beside is going through a custody fight and has child support issues. Bad timing is talking about your child misbehaving and the attempts you have made to be a ‘good mother’ when the person you are talking around, their child has gone to jail for drunk driving. Or bringing up a political view point in a crowd of known argumentative people. Bringing up a religious view when a coworker is struggling through lent or another required suffrage. I have to admit though that I have certainly gone into one of those high stress rooms and blurted out a comment that got them going. Lucky for me, I didn’t have to stay there. J I know, evil. I have also enjoyed a piece of chocolate around someone that had sworn to give it up…another seriously evil thing to have done on my part. But when it comes to personal hurt, personal suffering for someone or their family, it just takes that tiny bit of knowledge or common sense to watch what discussion you get into. If you don’t realize at the time, and they react more with feeling than with thought, then be understanding and back down carefully. This does not mean that you are WRONG in what you think, it does not mean you can not have this discussion later, it just means that they are not hearing you with their heads. They are hearing you with their hearts and it hurts. That moment it is not about you sharing your opinion, it is about giving them the space they need to handle their own issue, and taking the topic to a friendlier area or waiting until a later date. Don’t talk about why a certain religion or religious holiday doesn’t make sense to you ON THAT HOLIDAY. Wait until it’s over. Then feel free. (Honestly, I love the fact that one person can spout out about how other religion is wrong…but they don’t practice the religion they claim to be a part of. Honestly, what say do you have?) So, it’s not that you don’t have a valid point, one that someone would love to debate with you on…it’s just a matter of timing and how to bow out without making others think you changed your view. I don’t mind being a mediator but I would MUCH rather enjoy the debate with two understanding and friendly parties.