The EX Files

Heart break teaches you something. Each and every person you had a relationship with TAUGHT you something in your life. Too many people actually get hurt by the person they are no longer with that they don't realize this and use it to their advantage. But I am here to say, for myself, that staying ugly and mean about a situation that didn't work is a waste of your time. You are blind to what GOOD it taught you. I choose, for this post, not to allow myself to be negative toward any of my loves and instead write what I believe they taught me instead. (Some I don't have ANY hard feelings toward at all-just want to say that) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My first love went from childish behavior of stealing his hat to annoy him, to him actually giving the hat to me to say what he couldn't. I learned that those feelings I had were okay to have, and I learned how to show affection to another person other than my family. We went from irritating each other like siblings, to cuddling together one night without kissing or sex. It truly was my first lesson in affection to the male species. (Very fond memories) My second relationship taught me to listen, to have patience, and to support someone I cared about. He showed me that there are all different family types and not all are as wonderful as my own. He taught me to cherish myself and the life I had. (long talks on the roof top) Another relationship taught me that more than just two people were affected good and bad, by our relationship. He taught me how others respond to jealousy and how to lessen those feelings in others by not reacting. He also showed me how to kiss more than a peck on the cheek or quickly on the lips. (oh my) I had a relationship that showed me rushing into things isn't smart, that I should take my time. He showed me that endurance in the race doesn't always mean you will win. He also showed me that just because I believe in someone and work hard on building their confidence, it doesn't always mean I will be believed. Just because you can stick together doesn't always mean it is the healthiest thing to do. (9 long years) Another taught me that men CAN have conversations all night long and that men DO have something to say. They listen to how you feel and don't always want to fix it. He showed me that it was possible to feel loved and protected while I learned to love myself and grow strong in myself. He also showed me it was okay to let go. It was okay to reach and end and not have hard feelings with the other, to stay friends. (another wounded bird) ~~~~~~~~~~ And finally, the relationship I now enjoy...he has taught me that being a father of children doesn't mean you had to create them. He has shown me that if you set goals you can reach them if you trust in God and keep moving through the obstacles. He showed me that trust is possible if you wake every day with the same promise and a kiss. He showed me that fights, even the hard ones, DO end with results that are positive, not the ending of a relationship. And most of all, he shows me every day that I am exactly who I should be, I am worth loving, my words have value, my feelings are valid, and that there is no one, NO ONE more important to him than me. I married him. :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It is possible to survive abuse, neglect, disrespect, cheating, divorce...all of this. Those lessons make you who you are, and lead you in the right direction to find a relationship that is worth going the long run. You step back, take stock of yourself and the damages, and take note of what you learned. No blame. Just a lesson in life.